2: Congratulations, or I’m Sorry

Disclaimers: See end notes or Disclaimers Page.
Opening Theme: Find You – Super Mix – by A
Ending Theme: Horizon by WayV


Bleach: Cross
Across the Dimensions
Hitsugaya’s Heart Arc
That “Talk” Again
By Eugena

Chapter Two: Congratulations, or I’m Sorry


When Isshin Kurosaki came by for a house call, Momo turned several shades of embarrassment.  He brought his daughters with him.  Isshin explained the pregnancy test to Yoruichi.  She helped Momo to the bathroom – despise her protests – and the others waited.

“Of course,” Isshin added before they were inside, “sometimes it isn’t completely accurate, and you may need a blood test.”

“Excuse me, Mr. Kurosaki,” Daichi interrupted.  “Won’t this discussion make your daughters uncomfortable?  Besides, it’s really unnecessary.”

“Even beloved daughters must grow up.  You understand, Urahara?” he asked Kisuke.

“Of course, Kurosaki.  That’s why I’m going to kill Toshiro Hitsugaya!”

“Toshiro?” Karin asked.  “Why Toshiro?”

Daichi looked at her.  This would not be good.

“Did you say Hitsugaya?” Isshin asked.

“He took my baby’s innocence!” Kisuke declared.

“What?  You do see she has more than one kid?  How is she ‘innocent?’” Karin asked.

“We’re adopted,” Daichi said.

“Dai-kun!” Yachiru whined.  “How can you say that!  That’s not true!  Kenny and I threatened to kill the last person who said that.  That’s not funny!”

“Of course it’s not true,” Isshin comforted, patting Yachiru’s hand.

“See!” insisted Karin.  “Not innocent in that way at all.  How do you think babies come in the world?”

“Mom told me it’s when a man and woman who aren’t related spend lots of quality time together.  Then she said something about science, but said it was too complicated to understand that one.  So that’s Kenny and Shiro!  Because Mayuri would be too complicated!”

“Mayuri?” Kisuke thought.  “Not him again.  No way.”

“Shiro?” Karin whined.


Said shinigami thought that now was a good time to check on Shirahime.  She’d been so tired lately, and he worried she wasn’t eating enough.  He took Rangiku with him.

“Urahara,” he called.  “Is Shirahime here?  Is she feeling -?”

He stopped speaking as he took in the scene before him.

“Toshiro!” Karin greeted.

“Toshiro,” Kisuke greeted sternly.

“Is there a problem?”  He looked to Isshin.  “Is Shirahime okay?”

Kisuke plastered on a smile.  He came closer.

“No, Toshiro!” Karin warned.  “He’s going to kill you!”

Taicho,” Rangiku reprimanded, forgetting to pretend they were humans in gigais.  “What did you do now?  Did you make Shirahime cry?”

“Oh,” Kisuke insisted, “he will.  She’s all moody and emotional.  How could you do this to my daughter, Hitsugaya?  At least Kuchiki wanted to marry her!

Rangiku looked between Kisuke and Toshiro.  She turned to Daichi who held his hands up in an “I don’t know” gesture.

“We are done!” Yoruichi announced as she ushered Momo out of the bathroom.  Momo’s face turned white.

“Momo?  Did you and Shirahime get hurt?” Toshiro asked.  “What’s wrong?”

Yoruichi looked at the stick in her hand.  “Please tell me I’m reading this wrong.  There’s a line!”

Isshin’s daughters looked to each other.

“Well, Ms. Shihoin,” Isshin said.  “It depends on what you were hoping for.  Either congratulations or I’m sorry.”

Congratulations?” Toshiro repeated.  “What does that mean?

“Just tell us the truth, Mr. Kurosaki,” Kisuke said.  “We will have to deal with this.”  He looked to Daichi.

“Takeya!” Shiro snapped.  “Exactly what’s happening?”

“Toshiro,” Rangiku chided, “do you remember that ‘talk’ we had?”

“Talk?  What talk?  Wait, do you mean THE TALK?

Daichi looked from person to person.

“Daichi Thorne Takeya, I’m going to kill you!”

“Not so fast, Hitsugaya,” Kisuke interrupted.  “I’m killing you first!”

“Why are we killing Little Shiro?” Momo asked.

Kisuke held Momo’s hand and leaned down to her.  “Oh, Miss Hinamori, I am so sorry for the bad actions of my grandson.  If he won’t man up, I will ensure you are taken care of.”

“Urahara-ji, what’s going on?” she asked.

“Oh!” Yoruichi exclaimed.  “She’s calling you ‘grandfather’ already.”  She wrapped an arm around Momo.  “We’ll help you.”

“Because taicho said I could!  What’s happened to taicho?” Momo asked.

“Oh, Karin,” said Yuzu.  “Toshiro and Shirahime must be a couple!  They both get called ‘taicho.’”

Karin’s face darkened.  “Toshiro,” she insisted.  “This isn’t true.  You’re not involved with her!” she shouted.

Toshiro looked at her.  “Exactly what are you getting at?” he asked.

“Karin has a crush on you,” Yuzu admitted.

“I – I do not!” Karin exclaimed.

“That’s good,” Rangiku said, “because he’s got a growing family.  He loves our hime’s children.”

“Well,” he paused, embarrassed.  “I do.”  He turned to Daichi.  “You know that.”  He turned to Yachiru.

“I’ve always known that!” she exclaimed.

Isshin cleared his throat.  “Excuse me, as to Miss Hinamori?”

“Yes, Mr. Kurosaki,” Yoruichi said, “please, tell it to us straight.  How far along is she?”

“This test doesn’t really work like that.  But I can say that I’m sorry – or perhaps congratulations – Miss Hinamori is not pregnant.”

“We tried to tell you,” she muttered.

“But there was a line!” Yoruichi exclaimed.

“It’s called a ‘control’ line.  It makes sure the test is working.  Other tests are made differently.  You need a second line on this one for a positive.”

“Do you have another test?” Yoruichi asked.  “We want to be sure.  We can’t miss any important moment in our great-grandchild’s life.”

Daichi could hear Aoi Raiko, his zanpakuto’s spirit, jumping around in his mind.  Daichi, like his mother, didn’t need a gigai.  The others did.  Daichi realized he should not point out that the pregnancy test wouldn’t have worked on Momo anyway.

“Mama, mama!” Raiko shouted.  “Mama’s having another baby.”

Daichi’s face turned white.

“Are you okay, Daichi?” Rangiku asked.

“It’s just – just – my younger sister is so happy about this!”

The Kurosaki girls looked at Yachiru.

“You’re such an observant brother!” Yuzu exclaimed.  “She’s not even showing her emotions.”

“Well, I am an expert in knowing my youngest sister’s thoughts.”

Yachiru perked up.

Daichi looked at her, prompting her not to mention Raiko.

She caught on.  “Of course I’m happy!  Mama’s having a baby!”

“What did you say?” Toshiro wanted to faint.

Yachiru threw her arms around Toshiro.  “Shiro!  Thank you for helping mom have another child!   Aunt Lafiel will be so happy!”

“What?” he screeched.  “But we would have had to -.” He stopped, looking at Isshin’s daughters.

“Well then,” Isshin interrupted, “let’s see the princess.”

“Dad!” Karin objected.  “Must you call her that?”

“Karin,” Yuzu chided.  “Be nice.  Besides, Ichigo calls her that, too.”

“I am being nice.”

“You’re being jealous.”


Bleach: Cross: That “Talk” Again
Introduction & Chapter List

Cast List & Notes

[Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3]

Read & Review
From Chapter One
[AO3] [FFN]